June 17, 2007

    The fact that Father’s Day came a good many years after Mother’s Day says something very important about the human condition.  The way that Father’s Day is celebrated also tells us a great deal.  All too often Father’s Day revolves around giving our dad a gift (we never know what to give a man,) and if he’s lucky he gets taken out to eat.  If he is really lucky he is actually treated like a king for a day and his children, grown or otherwise, spend quality time with him.   Most probably we treat Father’s Day a bit differently from Mother’s Day because we have been conditioned to believe that men just don’t care.  We really believe that Dads aren’t interested in getting some attention from their children.  It’s too touchy, feely or too sentimental.

    If we could be so lucky as to sit down with a man who is brave enough to tell us how he really feels, it would probably reveal something to the tune of the following.  A dad is a person who cares and feels just as much as a mom but is not allowed to show it in the same way.  He needs to be stronger, less emotional, less sentimental.  This is what society has taught him and it is what everyone expects.  In reality, dad loves his children dearly.  He wants to protect them from harm and wants them to feel safe in his care.  What he would really want is a big hug at the end of the day but he hates to ask.  He often feels the pain of his children but he keeps it well hidden, leaving the gentle side to be expressed by mom.

    What often happens is that dads take the back seat in the emotional scene.  Dad is often expected to earn money, repair the house, clean and landscape the outside, hand over the keys and stand by while mom gets the emotional support.  Undoubtedly this takes a toll on a man’s heart.  Although mom’s do a great deal for their children, they are often given the emotional pay back they need, ( there are always exceptions, of course.)  Dads often have to wait until their children grow up and realize what they have done.

    Being a good father is difficult indeed but it is a very important role.  It should never be seen as a secondary role to moms.  Without wanting to unduly strap fathers with an enormous responsibility, the fact that God is our Father means that children see God the way they see their father.  If they have a negative experience they will no doubt have a negative experience of God.  No pressure, Dads.  The way children experience the male figure in their lives serves them throughout their spiritual life whether for the good or for the bad.

    Fatherhood is a gift that is beyond measure.  It is a gift that brings you into the experience of God.  It teaches you what God thinks and feels about his children.  It gives you
insight into the depth of the reality of love God has for his children.  Talk about a front row seat to the truth. 

    Congratulations to all who have had the privilege of sharing in this miracle of life. But dads, help us out here.  Tell us what you are thinking and feeling.  We can’t always guess.  Have a Great Day, you deserve it.

                        Lorette P. Nault